So. Tired.
I have no idea how much I weigh. Eating hasn't been bad, but smoking has. I keep telling myself I need to quit, have to quit, and then there I am in the middle of an anxious moment, headed downstairs and across the street to the deli where I slap a ten dollar bill on the counter and the man gives me my pack of cigarettes. It is making me feel worse, I know. But I am unable to stop right now on my own. It's the nicotine, of course, because I'm clearly addicted to it again, but it's the idea of not being able to go downstairs and hangout for a bit with the other smokers that is causing me not to quit. It's a crutch and I hate it.
The last week was a blur. Work seems to be never-ending. I actually have to do some work tomorrow.
Today I could only manage to read a little and nap.
I am too old for this shit.
posted by LME at 9:50 PM
2 Comments:
mmm, I'm an x-smoker, and it litterally took me 5 years to quit. I was down to 2 cig's a day and couldn't let them go. In retrospect, for me, it was the fact that when I had a cigarette, I was removing myself from the stress of the moment (to go outside) and then taking several deep breaths. I needed THAT part. I took up yoga, which has lots of deep breathing, and that helped. Of course, everyone's journey is different, but....
Having said that - if the surgeon general even hinted that smokes wouldn't kill me, I'd start tomorrow!!
Good luck with your quest.
Hey S, hope you are doing alright. This is not pressure to check in just letting you know I care.
Post a Comment
<< Home